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Oct. 20th, 2004 01:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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zookeepers (Found on the American Association of Zookeepers Yahoo Group.)
You Know you are a Zookeeper when:
......after work, all you attract are flies.
......your tan lines wash off.
......your pets greet your shoes and not you.
......all your pants have stains where you wipe your hands.
......you never shake hands without brushing your hands on your pants.
......you walk with a limp because of all the tools on your belt.
......your snot is black and not clear.
.....you will eat most anything from the animal cooler as a snack.
......you don't even notice that you smell until you get into the car with
the windows rolled up to go home.
......you think nothing of pulling off ticks while in line at the local
fast-food place.
......you have two closets...one for work and one for the real world.
......you have more photos of your animal kids than of your friends.
..... You get really excited about good solid poop.
......You spend all your vacations visiting other zoos.
......Half your kitchen equipment and a good portion of your kids toys end
up at the zoo....
....... While walking through a lovely landscaped neighborhood all the
vegetation is mentally classified as "browse" and "non-browse"
.... Nothing is thrown in the trash until carefully screened for enrichment
value
.... Most of your "regular" clothes have animal pictures on them
.....You eagerly shake hands because YOU KNOW where you hands have been.
.... You wonder how everyone at the grocery store calls you by your first
name (because you have forgotten to take your nametag off)
......You lock any and every door behind you.
......When you have to apologize more than once to the person who happened
to sort the laundry for the dead mouse in your pocket.
....the word "shit" is not a bad word.
....new rakes and shovels are more exciting than diamonds.
.....you can be bribed to do anything for chocolate cake.
.....you sit on a clothes dryer for warmth.
.....over lunch the discussion involves the consistancy of feces.
.....the casserole at the Christmas party reminds someone of an animals
discharge and you eat it anyway..
.....when you go to lunch with coworkers and you realize that everyone at
nearby tables asks to be moved because of what you are discussing.
.....Your most cherished gift is a Leatherman Super Tool
.....you call your kids the same sweet terms you use for the animals (sweet
pea, precious).
.....you bridge your kids after they have done something correctly (Good boy
or Thanks!)
.....When you store rats and "other" meat in your refrig. next to or above
your best leftovers. And your in-laws have come to accept it.
.....When you get in a big hurry because you forgot to thaw rats for feeding
and you leave them in the home microwave a little too long.
....When you are a female keeper wearing a tank top and some guy asks you if
you lift weights.
.....you think it would be nice to have a drain in the middle of your
kitchen floor.
.....you shop the toy section in Wal-Mart and you don't have kids, you have
monkeys.
.....you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
.....a three day weekend means the ground in dirt on your hands is gone.
.....you leave a trail of hay everywhere you go.
.....you check to see which way the wind is blowing before dumping
anything.
.. ...you can make water run uphill, because architects believe all drains
should be in the highest corner.
....taking off your boots at night is better than...well, just about
anything.
.....talk of animals' feces does not gross you out while eating.
.....perfume is offensive while bodily smells are not.
.....you are not phased by a fecal sample in the fridge next to your lunch.
.....you lip-smack when brushing lint off a friend's shoulder.
.....there are no pictures of you without animals in them too.
.....(you know you're a chimp keeper when) you food-bark every time you sit
down to a meal.
...you can identify which species a fecal originated from by smell (often on
you hands).
.....you're routinely tested for internal parasites.
.....your favorite smells are bleach and disinfectant.
.....your pets aren't the only ones that receive a rabies shot.
.....you look better when you wake up than when you get off from work.
.....you have scars to prove it.
zookeepers (Found on the American Association of Zookeepers Yahoo Group.)You Know you are a Zookeeper when:
......after work, all you attract are flies.
......your tan lines wash off.
......your pets greet your shoes and not you.
......all your pants have stains where you wipe your hands.
......you never shake hands without brushing your hands on your pants.
......you walk with a limp because of all the tools on your belt.
......your snot is black and not clear.
.....you will eat most anything from the animal cooler as a snack.
......you don't even notice that you smell until you get into the car with
the windows rolled up to go home.
......you think nothing of pulling off ticks while in line at the local
fast-food place.
......you have two closets...one for work and one for the real world.
......you have more photos of your animal kids than of your friends.
..... You get really excited about good solid poop.
......You spend all your vacations visiting other zoos.
......Half your kitchen equipment and a good portion of your kids toys end
up at the zoo....
....... While walking through a lovely landscaped neighborhood all the
vegetation is mentally classified as "browse" and "non-browse"
.... Nothing is thrown in the trash until carefully screened for enrichment
value
.... Most of your "regular" clothes have animal pictures on them
.....You eagerly shake hands because YOU KNOW where you hands have been.
.... You wonder how everyone at the grocery store calls you by your first
name (because you have forgotten to take your nametag off)
......You lock any and every door behind you.
......When you have to apologize more than once to the person who happened
to sort the laundry for the dead mouse in your pocket.
....the word "shit" is not a bad word.
....new rakes and shovels are more exciting than diamonds.
.....you can be bribed to do anything for chocolate cake.
.....you sit on a clothes dryer for warmth.
.....over lunch the discussion involves the consistancy of feces.
.....the casserole at the Christmas party reminds someone of an animals
discharge and you eat it anyway..
.....when you go to lunch with coworkers and you realize that everyone at
nearby tables asks to be moved because of what you are discussing.
.....Your most cherished gift is a Leatherman Super Tool
.....you call your kids the same sweet terms you use for the animals (sweet
pea, precious).
.....you bridge your kids after they have done something correctly (Good boy
or Thanks!)
.....When you store rats and "other" meat in your refrig. next to or above
your best leftovers. And your in-laws have come to accept it.
.....When you get in a big hurry because you forgot to thaw rats for feeding
and you leave them in the home microwave a little too long.
....When you are a female keeper wearing a tank top and some guy asks you if
you lift weights.
.....you think it would be nice to have a drain in the middle of your
kitchen floor.
.....you shop the toy section in Wal-Mart and you don't have kids, you have
monkeys.
.....you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom.
.....a three day weekend means the ground in dirt on your hands is gone.
.....you leave a trail of hay everywhere you go.
.....you check to see which way the wind is blowing before dumping
anything.
.. ...you can make water run uphill, because architects believe all drains
should be in the highest corner.
....taking off your boots at night is better than...well, just about
anything.
.....talk of animals' feces does not gross you out while eating.
.....perfume is offensive while bodily smells are not.
.....you are not phased by a fecal sample in the fridge next to your lunch.
.....you lip-smack when brushing lint off a friend's shoulder.
.....there are no pictures of you without animals in them too.
.....(you know you're a chimp keeper when) you food-bark every time you sit
down to a meal.
...you can identify which species a fecal originated from by smell (often on
you hands).
.....you're routinely tested for internal parasites.
.....your favorite smells are bleach and disinfectant.
.....your pets aren't the only ones that receive a rabies shot.
.....you look better when you wake up than when you get off from work.
.....you have scars to prove it.
