urbpan: (hawkeats)
urbpan ([personal profile] urbpan) wrote2005-04-30 01:34 pm

Attention world:

Eating animals will not help your sex life. There are pills that can help your sex life now (just check your email!) Please stop eating rhino horn, tiger penis, bear gall bladder and frog cocktails. After watching Fear Factor, one may come to the conclusion that eating live bugs and worms may turn you into a dick, but it will not help make your dick hard. (If it does, there's something wrong with you that exotic food choices will not help.)

Frog Cocktails

Sea turtle eggs


Baby eels

Tiger penis, among other things

Elk antlers (in velvet, so the elk has to be killed to harvest them)

Abalone

Seal penises

Lake Turtle

For crying out loud, people. A glass of wine, maybe a little pot? How about staying healthy, keeping good hygeine and putting on a Barry White record? If you really need a quack aphrodisiac, during this search I found a million plant foods that were listed: avacado, asparagus, basil, pomegranate, tomatoes, ad infinitum. Whatever. Please stop killing animals and eating their penises.

i love morbo.

[identity profile] lynsage.livejournal.com 2005-04-30 06:18 pm (UTC)(link)
"Demand for human horn is great, due in part to titillating scenes from depraved alien TV programs too filthy for Earth broadcast. Let's watch."

SO FUNNY!

[identity profile] cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com 2005-04-30 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
I love Futurama! And Morbo is the best news monster EVER.

seconded

[identity profile] lynsage.livejournal.com 2005-04-30 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
morbo and kif are my favorite futurama characters (i almost said "cast members"!).

Re: seconded

[identity profile] cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com 2005-04-30 08:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I LOVE Kif with all his sighing and bonelessness. The one where he gets pregnant is just awesome.

Re: seconded

[identity profile] lynsage.livejournal.com 2005-04-30 08:19 pm (UTC)(link)
that one is great. [livejournal.com profile] tredecimal and i have been known to refer to each other as "my smizmar" from time to time.

Re: seconded

[identity profile] urbpan.livejournal.com 2005-04-30 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Spleesh!
I leave my Blog alone for a minute and it turns into a Futurama fan site!
Mel out you two!

joining in on the geekdom

[identity profile] cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com 2005-05-01 12:32 pm (UTC)(link)
We like to use Amy's swears/slang (thank goodness for subtitles). Well, SPLUH! :)