I'm so sorry for your mother -- not to mention for your dad and you. And I think one of the worst things ab out getting old or ill enough not to be able to care for oneself is not being able to have an animal companion anymore! That's such a tragedy. More enlightened nursing homes have regular animal visiting days, or even a resident cat or two that the residents get to compete over giving attention to. But it's just not the same.

I'm counting my blessings now and trying to stuff every moment full with those I love, because some day. . . . inevitably some day. . . .

So you go ahead and don't bother with eljay. There are far more important things to fill life with.