If you hate yourself most of the time and the only thing that dispels it is alcohol (which seems to be what you're saying here), it's time to take a closer look at what's really going. As the above comment mentions, your Mom is in a nursing home and you have been watching her lose ground. That's got to be hard on you.
Also, I've noticed that there are some things you like about your job and some things you don't like about it and you still seem unsure of yourself. Hell, I've been doing my job for 3 years now, and most of the time I love it, but there are days when I don't like it and I almost always feel insecure about it. You have to ask yourself, is that an accurate perception, a perception that management is enforcing upon you (because that's their management style) or just your own high expectations?
So both those situations combined could be leading you to be depressed. Also, you have to examine the way you think. A lot of the time, we repeat thoughts in our minds that lead us to certain mood states, regardless of the reality that surrounds us. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy addresses that issue - if you can change the thought, you can change the person.
I'm sure this sounds harsh, but I'm dealing with A LOT of depressed people right now. Some are depressed for obvious reasons, some not so obvious. But I would hate to see you lose any ground to this beast. So, please, consider the advice you've been given by these good people.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-06-16 04:22 am (UTC)Also, I've noticed that there are some things you like about your job and some things you don't like about it and you still seem unsure of yourself. Hell, I've been doing my job for 3 years now, and most of the time I love it, but there are days when I don't like it and I almost always feel insecure about it. You have to ask yourself, is that an accurate perception, a perception that management is enforcing upon you (because that's their management style) or just your own high expectations?
So both those situations combined could be leading you to be depressed. Also, you have to examine the way you think. A lot of the time, we repeat thoughts in our minds that lead us to certain mood states, regardless of the reality that surrounds us. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy addresses that issue - if you can change the thought, you can change the person.
I'm sure this sounds harsh, but I'm dealing with A LOT of depressed people right now. Some are depressed for obvious reasons, some not so obvious. But I would hate to see you lose any ground to this beast. So, please, consider the advice you've been given by these good people.