Yes, but not about what or whether you should resolve. That's a personal decision. What I'm thinking is that complaints aren't necessarily a bad thing. I understand that whining can bring down other people's morale, and that happiness can be contagious as well. I also get the "fake it 'til you make it" approach to lifting your mood. But I think it's a step too far to regard all complaints as equally and inherently bad.
To me, the question isn't so much "Is this statement a complaint?" but rather, "Does this complaint hold the potential to effect positive change, or am I just spinning my wheels in the mud, splattering all around me?"
Imagine that you and a friend are being given a tour of a business. You're led through the stylish, modern office, down a comfortably lit hallway, and into a dark, miserable looking, dungeon-like room. There you see dozens of starving, injured children, chained to work stations and standing in their own excrement. A couple of them are dead, still in chains.
You start to protest, but before you can say a word, your friend stops you and says, "I know what you're going to say. Just don't. We're trying to enjoy this nice tour of this lovely facility, and we don't need you bringing everyone down." Your friend turns to the guide and explains, "'Mr. Negativity' here always finds something to complain about, and I'm trying to help him break the habit."
Sometimes things are wrong, and the only way anything gets done about them is if somebody speaks up. Forcing ourselves or others to bite down our righteous objections and plaster on fake smiles so as not to rock the boat is, I feel, a form of emotional violence. It's coercive, guilting people for complaining about something they have every right to complain about.
Of course, that has nothing to do with getting mad at the cold or the snow. :)
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2008-12-21 03:06 pm (UTC)Yes, but not about what or whether you should resolve. That's a personal decision. What I'm thinking is that complaints aren't necessarily a bad thing. I understand that whining can bring down other people's morale, and that happiness can be contagious as well. I also get the "fake it 'til you make it" approach to lifting your mood. But I think it's a step too far to regard all complaints as equally and inherently bad.
To me, the question isn't so much "Is this statement a complaint?" but rather, "Does this complaint hold the potential to effect positive change, or am I just spinning my wheels in the mud, splattering all around me?"
Imagine that you and a friend are being given a tour of a business. You're led through the stylish, modern office, down a comfortably lit hallway, and into a dark, miserable looking, dungeon-like room. There you see dozens of starving, injured children, chained to work stations and standing in their own excrement. A couple of them are dead, still in chains.
You start to protest, but before you can say a word, your friend stops you and says, "I know what you're going to say. Just don't. We're trying to enjoy this nice tour of this lovely facility, and we don't need you bringing everyone down." Your friend turns to the guide and explains, "'Mr. Negativity' here always finds something to complain about, and I'm trying to help him break the habit."
Sometimes things are wrong, and the only way anything gets done about them is if somebody speaks up. Forcing ourselves or others to bite down our righteous objections and plaster on fake smiles so as not to rock the boat is, I feel, a form of emotional violence. It's coercive, guilting people for complaining about something they have every right to complain about.
Of course, that has nothing to do with getting mad at the cold or the snow. :)