I'll do your wedding for $100 plus travel expenses. Queers encouraged.

[urbpan]

I just got ordained. Given the other day's horse-eating conversation, which culminated with agreement on "emotions trump reason," it strikes me funny that the Church "promotes religion based on reason." It has a completely self-contradictory definition that pleases me.



CONGRATULATIONS AND WELCOME!

The Church of Spiritual Humanism is happy to inform you that your ordination
request has been reviewed and approved, and you are now an officially ordained
clergy member.

We are now offering our members ordination certificates, clergy wallet ID cards,
blank certificates for various ceremonies, and "The Officiate's Manual" which
contains lots of useful information for new clergy members. Many clergy members
find these items useful when performing their religious services. There are
three different packages to choose from.

Basic Clergy Pack - $14.95

Advanced Clergy Pack - $39.95

Deluxe Clergy Pack - $89.95

For more information and to order one of these packages visit our web site:

http://www.spiritualhumanism.org/shop.htm

You are now entitled to all privileges and courtesies normally offered to
ordained members of the clergy. The record of your ordination has been entered
into the official permanent records of the Church of Spiritual Humanism.
Ordinations by the Church of Spiritual Humanism are for life, and are awarded
completely free and without monetary charge.

Please print or otherwise preserve this notice for your records.

As an ordained member of the clergy, you are hereby authorized by the CSH to
officiate religious rites and ceremonies, including marriage, baby naming,
funeral services, invocations, and holiday ceremonies, as permitted and subject
to the laws and regulations of your country, state, and municipality. It is
important that before you officiate any civil ceremony (such as marriages), you
know and comply with all laws governing your locality.

The Church of Spiritual Humanism promotes religion based on reason. As a member of the CSH clergy it is your charge to strive to base your actions on, and influence others to be motivated by, deliberation and reason and not the
irrational, emotional, or subjective. Furthermore your responsibilities are to
peacefully follow the proper course of action, and to avoid infringing on the
rights of others. You alone are responsible for your actions as a member of the clergy.
[my emphasis]

If you have any question please feel free to email me.

Thanks for helping make the world a better place,

R. A. Zorger, President
Church of Spiritual Humanism

Comments

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

Fucking awesome!!!

Marry me?

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Done!

That'll be one hundred dollars.

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

Um. Can I borrow $100?

The Fine Print, DAMMIT!

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

You are prohibited from performing ceremonies that involve exorcism, circumcision and animal sacrifice.

There goes my three-for-one wedding/exorcism/circumsision (with animal sacrifice, natch) deal.

Re: The Fine Print, DAMMIT!

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

Lol!!!

Re: The Fine Print, DAMMIT!

[brush-rat.livejournal.com]

Great! Now you tell me. I already put a bid on eBay to get you a Izmel. What the hell Am I going to do with an Izmel if I win the auction?

Re: The Fine Print, DAMMIT!

[artemii.livejournal.com]

and here i was all set to ask you to do the animal sacrifice at my big gay wedding. harumph.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bazilisk_/]

Greetings fellow ordained minister! Though I was ordained through a different entity- the Universal Life Church, grr, competitive low-dogma content churches. I wonder if they have very competitive softball games against eachother on their imaginary church lawns.

[turil.livejournal.com]

There are so damn many of these things now. When I was looking for one for my mom's friend to use to be able to officiate my wedding, I found dozens of websites just under the Universal Life Church name. I just read somewhere that there are about 100 new "religions" a day in the world!

This Spiritual Humanism one seems like a good one. Congratulations Jef!

I've recently been temped to consider what I would need to do to become a Buddhist monk or some other official, since that would be right up my alley of practicing compassion and the elimination of suffering. But I have a feeling that it's a bit more involved than registering on a website!

congratulations!

[belen1974.livejournal.com]

that's awesome.
can you marry gays?

Re: congratulations!

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Does the Church endorse same sex marriages?

The Church of Spiritual Humanism recognizes and affirms the right of consenting adults to enter into and celebrate a committed union with each other regardless of their orientation or gender. If marriage is a legal option for a same gender couple our clergy are fully authorized to perform a ceremony sanctified by the church for them. Even if such ceremonies are not legal in certain jurisdictions our clergy will not be penalized by the Church for performing them.

I think I should exclusively marry gays.

Re: congratulations!

[brush-rat.livejournal.com]

Umm, isn't a little late for that, seeing as you've already married two straights? How about mostly gays? So, was there a method to this madness or was it just because you could?