Okay, Northerners:

[urbpan]

Canadians, Chicagoans, New Yorkers, Minnesotans, New Englanders, etc:

Today it's as cold as ________

(or)

It's cold enough to ________

(or)

It's so cold _________



You finish, in the comments.

Comments

[vampyrusgirl.livejournal.com]

'Today it's as cold as ass'.

But that could just be me. Mind you, I haven't been outside yet today. I figured I should stay in to finish recovering since I'll have to work outside tomorrow anyway.

[teratologist.livejournal.com]

Today it's so cold I thought I was back in Buffalo for a second there.

[heavenscalyx.livejournal.com]

"...Anne Coulter's tit in a brass bra doing pushups in the snow in Alaska."

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

*applause*

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

1. FUCK!!!
2. FUCK!!!
3. FUCK!!!

[ndozo.livejournal.com]

Hahaha... cold enough to...

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

hey, it'll help you get warm, right?

[donnad.livejournal.com]

It's so cold I actually put on a hat AND put my hood on my coat.

I like the cold, but today it's even pushing it for me.

[ndozo.livejournal.com]

... as cold as a witch's tit. I hate that expression and I don't ever use it. But when I looked at the fill-in-the-blank, that's what came to mind. I'm from southern New England.

[iheartoothecae.livejournal.com]

That one was common among the more countryfied of my friends and acquaintances in Kentucky.

It is like nails on a blackboard to my ears.

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've known too many warm witches for that one to make sense. "nun's nipples" is pretty good.

I said "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" in response to a gloater in Austin.

[belen1974.livejournal.com]

hey, be nice to the nuns. i've known witches and nuns. what else is there? virgin's tits?

[by-steph.livejournal.com]

Don't be a hater.

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Gloater! GLOATER!!

[artemii.livejournal.com]

this is only sorta on-topic, but your post made me think about it - when i was a kid (in pennsylvania) we had a lot of expressions for hot and humid days and none i can remember for cold windy days. i suppose this was because back then, in that area, everybody had central heating but air conditioning was typically something that only rich people had.

how times have changed...

[miz-geek.livejournal.com]

It's so cold it's stupid.

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

"Cold as a witch's tit" is what I remember from Ulster County, NY (Catskills area; The Gunks, for climbers).

Later, I heard "Cold as a witch's C___."

[fledchen.livejournal.com]

It's so cold my nostrils froze shut on my walk home from work.

[seraphina-prime.livejournal.com]

Today it's as cold as shit.

Used mainly by teens in my area who have, obviously, never taken their dog out in the morning when its below freezing.

This one I've heard from the nautically inclined of my friends and relations: It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

Me, I usually just dance about like mad to warm up and say things like "OMFG! it's cold!"

[nutmeg.livejournal.com]

Hey... I used to live in NH and Upstate NY... and today, it's as cold in South Jersey as it is in Boston.

And it is as cold as hell (obviously a dante version of hell).

[antarcticlust.livejournal.com]

Here in Wisconsin, it's as cold as a Republican picnic on the third ring of Saturn.

[harrietbrown.livejournal.com]

Today it's so cold my wet hair froze. I got my fingers stuck in it. Tomorrow: A date with the blow dryer.

[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

it's so cold, men have ovaries and nipples as hard as sapphires

clang clang go the brass balls

#

[brush-rat.livejournal.com]

It's so cold, I had to wear a shirt.

Oh wait, that wasn't directed at my part of the world. Sorry.

these are lame, but i had to contribute from canada

[broken-angel.livejournal.com]

Today it's as cold as a refridgerator store in the Arctic.
It's cold enough to wear long-johns, which I did.
It's so cold I walked home with my face covered so that I just had a slit through which to see my feet to make sure I didn't wander into the road.

[kryptyd.livejournal.com]

It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey

[kryptyd.livejournal.com]

It was minus 6 here this morning. That's bloody unnatural for day time in February in Ireland. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

these shocked me as a young'un

[urb-banal.livejournal.com]

Today is as cold as a witches tit.

It's cold enough to freeze the steam off the horses noses so you have to get off the sled every few miles and crack it off their faces so they can breath.

It's so cold I'm staying in bed to save on the gas bill.

[rwblackbird.livejournal.com]

unrelated,
but interesting:

http://cellar.org/iotd.php?threadid=13232

[phlogiston-5.livejournal.com]

Its so cold that just about every school in central or northern PA was closed or had a two hour delay.

This kind of shocked me...in NJ we never had delays for it being this cold, and it DID get this cold on occasion. Makes me feel more hardcore.

[ankhanu.livejournal.com]

Really?? School cancellations due to cold? That's ridiculous.

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

I hear that one more and more. I don't think we EVER had a day off for that reason, growing up in southern new england.

[chocomocha.livejournal.com]

It's so cold I have to stop dressing like it's spring.

[ankhanu.livejournal.com]

Today it's as cold as __a witch's tit *I never use this phrase, but it came to mind*

(or)

It's cold enough to __Freeze the snot in your nose. *reality*

(or)

It's so cold __I'm staying inside.

[principito.livejournal.com]

Loving you all from warm warm beautiful Puerto Rico

Can't imagine how it is over there and I am dreading the date I will return...

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Wish I were there!

Imagine ice forming whenever I empty the duck pools, and the horrible realization that only one pair of thick wool socks isn't enough, and you're getting close.