The Urban Pantheist

Meh.









No, okay it was fine--too long and too slow at first, like the original Godzilla movies. The updated special effects were pretty good; I bet they looked great on the big screen. Nowhere near as much fun as Pacific Rim, the only giant monster movie to come out in the 21st century that understands the purpose of giant monster movies. To watch giant monsters fight each other.

My unconscious brain just made up a really cool monster movie. It was terribly derivative, being basically an updated version of Lost Boys, where an entire small city is either vampires or people hunting them. It was also, greatly informed by my work anxieties and the terrible softcore were-animal movie I watched yesterday. It included a cool scene where our heroes poke their heads into a huge spooky cathedral. They slowly look upward to realize that there are hundreds of human-sized bats sleeping hanging from the ceiling. There was climactic gun battle where one side was armed with dart guns, and the air was filled with telazol-filled missiles.

It also included two really cool things that I don't think actually exist: A street version of roller derby, where some players have bicycles--they were playing while riding and skating down a huge hill in the city, and their victory celebrations incorporated public theatre and public nudity; and frogbats--they look like regular treefrogs, but when disturbed their leathery wings suddenly unfurl and they fly away.

The plot was really confusing, but the special effects were awesome.

Behind the cut is my review of Prophecy: the Monster Movie. Usually I make my movie reviews friends only, since they don't have anything to do with the themes of my journal. This is an environmental horror movie, so maybe my general readership might be interested. There are some spoilers, but as this is a b movie, they probably won't interfere with your enjoyment of the movie. I do say how you can tell when the monster is going to attack, though.

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