Self-analysis

There are many things that are extremely embarrassing about thinking I'd lost my iPod and whinging about it on livejournal. One of these is that I'm now admitting that I dreamt about losing it and finding it all night long. I wish we had the power to choose our obsessions. We can direct our minds and our lives, but only by tiny increments.

It's fascinating to me, as I stand outside of myself for a moment, to realize I was depressed and despairing and for a short time allowed the temporary loss of an object to be the event that made a major decision for me (whether to continue the podcast or not). My brain's chemistry set seems very fragile, requiring the tiniest bump to spill out enough serotonin or melatonin or whatever to jar me into real (temporary) despair.

How do people who have real problems keep it all together to go on with their lives? How are very productive people able to power themselves not just to keep on going but to produce admirable and valuable works?

Anyway, enjoy the holiday weekend, carry on.

3:00 snapshot #1047, 1048, 1049: One from home, two from work

August 19, I took a mental health day and lounged in the yard with Alexis. It is hard not to notice: I am frowning intently at my iPod.

( Read more... )

Open wide!

Our pitcher plant's "lid" opened up further, and Alexis dropped a dead moth into the plant's mouth.