Attention world:

[urbpan]

Eating animals will not help your sex life. There are pills that can help your sex life now (just check your email!) Please stop eating rhino horn, tiger penis, bear gall bladder and frog cocktails. After watching Fear Factor, one may come to the conclusion that eating live bugs and worms may turn you into a dick, but it will not help make your dick hard. (If it does, there's something wrong with you that exotic food choices will not help.)

Frog Cocktails

Sea turtle eggs


Baby eels

Tiger penis, among other things

Elk antlers (in velvet, so the elk has to be killed to harvest them)

Abalone

Seal penises

Lake Turtle

For crying out loud, people. A glass of wine, maybe a little pot? How about staying healthy, keeping good hygeine and putting on a Barry White record? If you really need a quack aphrodisiac, during this search I found a million plant foods that were listed: avacado, asparagus, basil, pomegranate, tomatoes, ad infinitum. Whatever. Please stop killing animals and eating their penises.

Comments

[lynsage.livejournal.com]

have you ever seen the episode of futurama where the aliens are eating "human horn" as an aphrodisiac?

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

Lol!! How 'bout a little human horn?!

Improving cardiac health and circulatory health goes a long way to improving your potence!

[lostnorange.livejournal.com]

Whatever. Please stop killing animals and eating their penises.

-laughs quietly-

Killjoy!

[brush-rat.livejournal.com]

Great. Now you tell me. Now what am I supposed to do with my warehouse full of panda retinas?

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

It just occurred to me ... do you think we'd notice an increase in Charlie's sex drive when fed cock? I mean, if he had the equipment?

[http://users.livejournal.com/purplebunnie_/]

Lovely!

I think I've already read your post to 5 friend by now. RAWK.

[rinalia.livejournal.com]

Amen to that! ("That" being defined as your entire post). :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bazilisk_/]

Thank you for posting this. This is the most agravating poaching-related issue, the most needless and disgusting reason to kill very rare animals. But maybe that's cause I'm a feminista.