Vote for Gordon Weir!

[urbpan]

Presidential campaigns are full of unrealistic insincere promises uttered by cynical Machiavellians for the purpose of manipulating the fickle and the gullible. My favorite of these, possibly of all time, is that of my good friend and former co-publisher of a reactionary art school "newspaper" Gordon Weir. I'm not supporting his campaign's ideas merely because he has access to information, documents, and probably photographs for all I know of my misspent youth and its deeds which have left me permanently unelectable to any office with more responsibility than carrying round-ended scissors. No, I heartily and passionately endorse these ideas because of their timeliness, their reflection of my moral beliefs, and the fact they are superior to any ideas espoused by the other candidates, with the possible exception of the Ron Paul/Dennis Kucinich plan to develop cyborg warrior/sexbots to fulfill the nation's future needs for warriors and unfettered sex.

I speak of course of terraforming Mars and stocking it with cloned dinosaurs.

Comments

[txtriffidranch.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't just vote for him. I'd contribute to the campaign.

[gryfindormia.livejournal.com]

Would the dinosaurs/your candidate-not-a-dinosaur tolerant of other beliefs and people? If not, this goes against my wish of stockpiling it with anime characters.

[harrietbrown.livejournal.com]

But what would be the fun on Mars if there were no human-tourist theme park for us to enjoy the dinosaurs in their (un)natural habitat? I think this will require more research, and yes, more funding!

[sarache.livejournal.com]

The thing is: He's kidding, but a handful of biologists (albeit biologists that get a lot of funny looks at the meetings) are thinking about reintroducing those saber-tooth tigers and mastodons. Or at least their living relatives. Cheetahs and elephants used to live in North America (that's why pronghorn antelopes can run at 60 mph). If you want to restore an area to an approximation of its pre-human ecosystem, you should really be trying to wind the clock back to 15,000 B.C., not A.D. 1492. There are some pilot projects on private ranches in the West. It's wacky, but you have to admit it's kind of intriguing:
http://www.rewilding.org/pleistocene_rewilding.html