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January is the worst month, except for December and February and sometimes March.
Winter is crud. There are moments of magic, but I find it hard to rise above the long months of cold and damp and dark. My enthusiasm and creativity plunge, when I should be taking advantage of being homebound, time that could be spent writing and learning and/or making art. I end up writing depressing screeds like this one.
I should say that I am writing this on a new computer, one that has a battery that charges and can be moved from room to room or even outdoors. One that I could plug my microphone into and record my podcast without the electronic interference of the power cable. I read that's a problem from someone on the internet. Also the speakers are twice as loud as those on my old computer. (I'm the kind of person that would replace the radio in my car before the engine.)
Many thanks to my friend Rachel who greatly facilitated the upgrade. I don't make important decisions without being pushed or pulled over the edge, so I can only understate my appreciation. Thank you Rachel!
My goals for the new year are the kind that I'll only fulfill if I have someone there to help me along or give me a substantial shove. The help I need on the "learning to play a new instrument" goal may come from my friend Kiki, who is offering to lend me one of her pointy guitars, and show me a chord or two. The "brew my own beer" goal will be met when the scoffing about how easy it is (supplied by my friends and relatives) gets to be too much and I go buy the damn kit already. I'll also have to stop buying beer for a few months to save up for the kit.
The first Urban Nature Walk of 2013 will happen Sunday the 27th, location to be announced. A good friend who works for the Department of Conservation and Recreation has tentatively agreed to co-lead the walk. She wasn't enthusiastic about leading a walk in places that have been degraded in her mind as "work" but I'm hoping to tap into her knowledge. I also hope that having a group of interested amateurs listening to what she has to say will help spark some of that enthusiasm.
Maybe it's just winter.
I should say that I am writing this on a new computer, one that has a battery that charges and can be moved from room to room or even outdoors. One that I could plug my microphone into and record my podcast without the electronic interference of the power cable. I read that's a problem from someone on the internet. Also the speakers are twice as loud as those on my old computer. (I'm the kind of person that would replace the radio in my car before the engine.)
Many thanks to my friend Rachel who greatly facilitated the upgrade. I don't make important decisions without being pushed or pulled over the edge, so I can only understate my appreciation. Thank you Rachel!
My goals for the new year are the kind that I'll only fulfill if I have someone there to help me along or give me a substantial shove. The help I need on the "learning to play a new instrument" goal may come from my friend Kiki, who is offering to lend me one of her pointy guitars, and show me a chord or two. The "brew my own beer" goal will be met when the scoffing about how easy it is (supplied by my friends and relatives) gets to be too much and I go buy the damn kit already. I'll also have to stop buying beer for a few months to save up for the kit.
The first Urban Nature Walk of 2013 will happen Sunday the 27th, location to be announced. A good friend who works for the Department of Conservation and Recreation has tentatively agreed to co-lead the walk. She wasn't enthusiastic about leading a walk in places that have been degraded in her mind as "work" but I'm hoping to tap into her knowledge. I also hope that having a group of interested amateurs listening to what she has to say will help spark some of that enthusiasm.
Maybe it's just winter.
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Have you ever thought about getting one of those lamps that people with Seasonal Affective disorder use? the ones that give up bright daylight-like light and suposedly help quite a bit in winter months?
I can really vouch that the amount of daylight I get really effects my mood in winter -- but I'm primarily nocturnal... but do much better diurnal... especially in winter when sleeping at the wrong times can mean I don't see the sun at all. As you already work with the sun, I wonder if one of the lamps might help you get, even if jsut a little bit. <3
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Try St. John's Wort. B vitamins give me REALLY realistic dreams though so I alternate days when I take them. It can be fun though but when I dreamt I had someone sitting on my chest and I pulled a neck muscle that wasn't great. Although I love dreaming that I can ski.
Good luck with all though, the lamp seems to help my old cat too.
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I"m not sure if your skeptism is about seasonal affective Disorder/light therapy, or if you yourself are affected by it, but if it's the former, do some reason on the internet 00 there's a fait bit about the effectiveness on the matter. light therapy was on par with effectiveness as antidepressents, but with less cost and, well, less drugs. :p As for if it'd help you... well.. I've been watching you for several years and I see how you crumble in winter. I do the same thing, though to a lesser degree.
Don't let yourself suffer if there is something that might fix it. Also, from what I understand, if you can get a doctor to give you a perscription, most insurance companies will cover it.
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But in all seriousness, if you feel this way all the time, then the problem probably isn't Seasonal Affective Disorder. SAD effects people seasonally. Yes, that means there are people who are affected by summer instead... but the vast majority are affected by the coming of winter. If you feel lethargic, sluggish, tired, scattered, withdrawn, and depressed in winter in a way you don't feel in summer, then you might suffer from SAD. If you feel this way year round, then you might have a different problem that could, perhaps, be helped with antidepressants. Though Antidepresents are always a... difficult thing to take, and I don't suggest them unless they are Needed (with a capital N. Sometimes things like this are Needed. That's okay. Everyone needs help sometimes)
... I'm no doctor, anyway. I just suffer from a problem. Last year it broke me, for a few months. This year, I've changed how I live and I"m doing much better. (unless I mess up and don't get enough daylight. Then my symptoms sharply reoccur.) I don't know if either of you suffer SAD, but I hate to see anyone suffer when a solution COULD be in their hands.
In any event, your outdoorsy day to day life probably helps, but as far as I understand it, SAD is a reaction to the change in amount of sunlight one recieves. Winter sunlight just might not be Enough. People in the northern parts of the world are most effected...(I think finland has something like a 10 or 15% portion of the population that is effected) For you.. out all day might just not be enough. Or maybe you aren't affected by SAD. That's possible too. In fact, I honestly think it's likely.
But urbpan himself might be a different story. OR he might not. I don't know. I just know that the symptoms he describes remind me a lot of myself when I sleep all day and only see the dawn and the dusk.
I'm sorry if I've somehow offended you, but believe me that I'm just trying to help.
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I wonder if your body just needs or is used to more sunlight because of your summer lovin', or if what have you... winter just might not have enough daytime for you, or bright enough light, or what not. Or maybe something else al together. I have a few friends who are lizards and hate the cold, while ignoring the sunlight aspect. :)
Anyway, I'm not trying to badger, I just don't like seeing people suffer, especially when sharing some of my knowledge might be able to help. <3 Especially not when they (you and Urbpan) provide me with some entertainment every day and are part of the reason I come to live journal every day. So I share knowledge and open doors. It's up to you to know if stepping through the door is what's right for you <3
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i think i need more because i'm darker skinned. also, i hate the cold, it hurts me!
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/11/parasitic-worm-video-nematode-dead-spider_n_2457502.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000008
#
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