Nerd Post

Sep. 27th, 2013 06:09 pm
urbpan: (dandelion)
[personal profile] urbpan
In honor of the fact that I'll be seeing Chris Hardwick (the nerdist) entertain Boston at the Wilbur in an hour in a half, I'll quickly share a nerdy thing that I've been momentarily obsessed with.

Alexis and I have been watching Star Trek: Deep Space Nine recently (all star treks are on netflix instant btw). At the beginning of one episode they showed a child eating oatmeal. All the food on the space station is made by the replicators--machines that use transporter technology to generate food and other items from a stored bank of matter (I read up on them today). Presumably this means not only can you procure ANY food you can think of (or have the schematics or software for) but that the machine could be programmed to alter the nutritional content of the food.

If I had access to a replicator, I might say "Tea, Earl Grey; hot," once or twice, just to work on my Patrick Stewart impersonation, but most of the time I'd be saying stuff like "Masamam curry tofu, medium spicy, with pineapple chunks." Or I'd say "Crunchberries, large bowl with lactose-free milk!" Since the machine is generating the food--it never grew, it never lived, it was never killed or harvested--you could say, "veal cutlet, breaded, with dolphin sauce" guilt free. Hell you could have big bowl of baby monkey hearts, if that's your thing (those guys that are black on one side and white on the other eat baby monkey hearts, look it up).

But I would live on DS9 for a long long time before it occurred to me to say "Oatmeal, lumpy, too hot on the inside, slimy and cold on the outside." (This describes every bowl of oatmeal I've eaten.) I brought this up with some of my coworkers, and five out of six of them said the same thing to me: "I love oatmeal. What's wrong with oatmeal?"

...

"Spaghettios, room temperature, from the can."

Make it so.

Date: 2013-09-28 08:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trenton22.livejournal.com
Hot in the morning, it's got to be steelcut. Rolled oats are for cookies.

Date: 2013-09-28 12:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] urb-banal.livejournal.com
What are "steel cut" oats? That was the description of the oatmeal I got at a very expensive restaurant. I thought they were just making it up to justify the price.

Date: 2013-09-28 12:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] urbpan.livejournal.com
Two of the oatmeal-lovers at work insisted upon steel-cut oats as well. The most important difference to me is that rolled oats cook up in 5 minutes while steel-cut take the better part of an hour. (15 to 20 minutes according to wikipedia, but my coworker said 40 minutes)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steel-cut_oats

Date: 2013-09-28 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] urb-banal.livejournal.com
I suppose that would not be a problem with a food replicator.

Date: 2013-09-29 01:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] urbpan.livejournal.com
Nope.

My wife's daughter had some good thoughts on this tonight: perhaps the person eating the oatmeal had tried all the exotic things but wanted the comfort of oatmeal. Perhaps the person had a strict upbringing and considered oatmeal to be virtuous.

Perhaps the oatmeal was caffeinated.

Date: 2013-09-28 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com
40 minutes for fucking oatmeal?! i am offended by that.

Date: 2013-09-29 12:15 am (UTC)
calypso72: Default profile icon (Me)
From: [personal profile] calypso72
You can get quick-cooking steel-cut oats at Trader Joe's. Probably not pure enough for the purists but who can wait an hour for breakfast in the morning? Not me.

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