Attention world:

[urbpan]

Eating animals will not help your sex life. There are pills that can help your sex life now (just check your email!) Please stop eating rhino horn, tiger penis, bear gall bladder and frog cocktails. After watching Fear Factor, one may come to the conclusion that eating live bugs and worms may turn you into a dick, but it will not help make your dick hard. (If it does, there's something wrong with you that exotic food choices will not help.)

Frog Cocktails

Sea turtle eggs


Baby eels

Tiger penis, among other things

Elk antlers (in velvet, so the elk has to be killed to harvest them)

Abalone

Seal penises

Lake Turtle

For crying out loud, people. A glass of wine, maybe a little pot? How about staying healthy, keeping good hygeine and putting on a Barry White record? If you really need a quack aphrodisiac, during this search I found a million plant foods that were listed: avacado, asparagus, basil, pomegranate, tomatoes, ad infinitum. Whatever. Please stop killing animals and eating their penises.

Comments

[lynsage.livejournal.com]

have you ever seen the episode of futurama where the aliens are eating "human horn" as an aphrodisiac?

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

Jinx!! :)

i love morbo.

[lynsage.livejournal.com]

"Demand for human horn is great, due in part to titillating scenes from depraved alien TV programs too filthy for Earth broadcast. Let's watch."

SO FUNNY!

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

I love Futurama! And Morbo is the best news monster EVER.

seconded

[lynsage.livejournal.com]

morbo and kif are my favorite futurama characters (i almost said "cast members"!).

Re: seconded

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

I LOVE Kif with all his sighing and bonelessness. The one where he gets pregnant is just awesome.

Re: seconded

[lynsage.livejournal.com]

that one is great. tredecimal and i have been known to refer to each other as "my smizmar" from time to time.

Re: seconded

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Spleesh!
I leave my Blog alone for a minute and it turns into a Futurama fan site!
Mel out you two!

joining in on the geekdom

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

We like to use Amy's swears/slang (thank goodness for subtitles). Well, SPLUH! :)

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

"Harvest the lower horn!"

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

"WOO WOO!" (Bender)

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

Lol!! How 'bout a little human horn?!

Improving cardiac health and circulatory health goes a long way to improving your potence!

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, roe.

You put that damn Til tuesday song in my head all day! (which is probably good, because it forced out the videogame music that was in there.)

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

La la la la la la la laaaa la la la la la laaaa....la la la la la la la la la la la la la katamari damacy....

[urbpan.livejournal.com]

Now that's just mean!

[lostnorange.livejournal.com]

Whatever. Please stop killing animals and eating their penises.

-laughs quietly-

Killjoy!

[brush-rat.livejournal.com]

Great. Now you tell me. Now what am I supposed to do with my warehouse full of panda retinas?

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

It just occurred to me ... do you think we'd notice an increase in Charlie's sex drive when fed cock? I mean, if he had the equipment?

The possibilities are staggering

[brush-rat.livejournal.com]

The possibilities are staggering

I believe you have created one of the all time great straight lines.

1. Well, I always notice when I get some cock in my mouth that it effects my sex drive.

2. He's a dog. Aside from the little paw cuffs and the Nixon mask, what kind of equipment does he need?

3. It's not a matter of drive, it's more about technique. Has Charlie tried licking?

4. How are you gauging Charlie's sex drive currently? I mean, I'm all for animal husbandry, but come on...

5. You want Jef to feed cock to the pit bull? I thought he already had a vasectomy.

6. Charlie the pit bull: Canine moyle.

Okay, I'll stop now, but ot because I've run out of ideas.

ok silly man.

[cottonmanifesto.livejournal.com]

they sell dehydrated bull penis as dog treats!

They look like this:



and smell about as bad as you can imagine.

[http://users.livejournal.com/purplebunnie_/]

Lovely!

I think I've already read your post to 5 friend by now. RAWK.

[rinalia.livejournal.com]

Amen to that! ("That" being defined as your entire post). :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bazilisk_/]

Thank you for posting this. This is the most agravating poaching-related issue, the most needless and disgusting reason to kill very rare animals. But maybe that's cause I'm a feminista.