I made a doctor's appointment finally. The doctor they selected for me is older than the last few--I google-stalked her and discovered that she graduated as an undergrad in 2006. I can't expect her to tell me that I'm "not overweight" (the last nice thing a doctor told me) but hopefully she'll prescribe me some albuterol inhalers. It's a shame they changed the propellant (something to do with the ozone layer), I don't think the new ones work as well. They should check to see what those CFC propellants are doing in our lungs, that shit felt nice.
Will I have the courage or time to bring up mental health issues? I have diagnosed myself with mild anxiety/depression/rage issues, which most people don't see, except for my ravaged fingernails and hefty recycling contributions:

And then there's the possibility that they'll discover some other interesting ailment with their routine tests! High cholesterol? Enlarged prostate? Is my asymmetrical body hair a symptom of anything?